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December 10, 2003

UN believable. No money-guzzling bureaucrat is worth his attache case these days if he doesn't belong to an organisation with an acronym. Before you settle on yours, however, make sure it hasn't already been snaffled by someone else. Here is a handy guide to the 56 acro-fetishists attending the World Summit...

AIBD
full name: Asia-Pacific Institute for Broadcasting Development
not to be confused with: American Institute of Building Design

APT
full name: Asia-Pacific Telecommunity
not to be confused with: Association for the Prevention of Torture

ASEAN
full name: Association of South-East Asian Nations
not to be confused with: Aslan, the lion from C.S. Lewis's books

ATU
full name: African Telecommunications Union
not to be confused with: Arkansas Technical University

CERN
full name: European Organisation for Nuclear Research
not to be confused with: Age Concern, a charity for the elderly

CTA
full name: Centre Technique de Cooperation Agricole et Rurale
not to be confused with: California Teachers' Association

CTO
full name: Commonwealth Telecommunications Organisation
not to be confused with: Cato, Inspector Clouseau's assistant in the Pink Panther films played by Burt Kwouk

CITEL
full name: Inter-American Telecommunication Commission
not to be confused with: Harvey Keitel, an American actor

CEMAC
full name: Communaute Economique et Monetaire de l'Afrique Centrale
not to be confused with: Crisis and Emergency Management Centre, Belgium

ECA
full name: Economic Commission for Africa
not to be confused with: Edinburgh College of Art

ECE
full name: Economic Commission for Europe
not to be confused with: Electrical and Computer Engineering

ECLAC
full name: Comision Economica para America Latina y el Caribe
not to be confused with: with Exlax, the bowel-purging medicine

ESCAP
full name: Economic and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific
not to be confused with: the Great Escape, starring Steve McQueen

ESCWA
full name: Economic and Social Commission for Western Asia
not to be confused with: Executive Service Corps of Washington

FAO
full name: Food and Agriculture Organisation
not to be confused with: Falco, the germanic pop star who came to fame with Rock Me Amadeus

IAEA
full name: International Atomic Energy Agency
not to be confused with: Tarzan's cry

ICRC
full name: International Committee of the Red Cross
not to be confused with: International Cosmic Ray Conference

IEAD
full name: not sure. Most likely the Information And Emergency Aid Department
not to be confused with: Igreja Evangelica Assembleia de Deus

ILO
full name: International Labour Organisation
not to be confused with: ELO, the 1980s band the Electric Light Orchestra

ISESCO
full name: Islamic Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization
not to be confused with: UNESCO

ITC
full name: International Trade Centre
not to be confused with: Independent Television Commission

ITU
full name: International Telecommunications Union
not to be confused with: International Triathlon Union

ITSO
full name: International Telecommunications Satellite Organisation
not to be confused with: Information Technology Student Organisation

RITLA
full name: Latin American Technological Information Network
not to be confused with: Rizla cigarette papers

UNAIDS
full name: United Nations programme on AIDS
not to be confused with: adenoids

UNCTAD
full name: United Nations Conference on Trade and Development
not to be confused with: what a mathematician says if you punch him while he's doing sums

UNCSTD
full name: United Nations Commission on Science and Technology for Development
not to be confused with: STDs

UNDP
full name: United Nations Development Programme
not to be confused with: underpants

UNEP
full name: United Nations Environment Programme

UNESCO
full name: United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation
not to be confused with: Tesco, the British supermarket

UNFIP
full name: United Nations Fund for International Partnerships
not to be confused with: failure to go to the gym

UNFPA
full name: United Nations Population Fund
not to be confused with: a sound made by a Bavarian oompah band

UNHCR
full name: United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees
not to be confused with: UNCR, the United Nations Common Room at a hall of residence at Queens University, Ontario

UN-HABITAT
full name: United Nations Human Settlements Programme
not to be confused with: Habitat, the furniture shop founded by Sir Terence Conran

UNICEF
full name: United Nations Children's Fund
not to be confused with: Cif, the detergent

UNIDIR
full name: United Nations Institute for Disarmament Research
not to be confused with: Uni, the annoying unicorn from the children's cartoon Dungeons and Dragons

UNIDO
full name: United Nations Industrial Development Organisation
not to be confused with: a doo-doo

UNIFEM
full name: United Nations Development Fund for Women
not to be confused with: a femidom

UNISDR
full name: United Nations International Strategy for Disaster Reduction

UNITAR
full name: United Nations Institute for Training and Research
not to be confused with: an evil character from the children's cartoon He-Man

UNMIK
full name: United Nations Interim Administration Mission in Kosovo
not to be confused with: Mick Hucknall, the ginger-haired singer from Simply Red

UNNGLS
full name: United Nations Non Governmental Liaison Service
not to be confused with: Friedrich Engels

UNOCHA
full name: United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs
not to be confused with: Gotcha!, the less than sensitive headline used by the Sun newspaper when the Royal Navy sank the Argentine warship the Belgrano

UNOG
full name: United Nations Office at Geneva
not to be confused with: Noggin the Nog

UNOPS
full name: United Nations Office for Project Services

UNRISD
full name: United Nations Research Institute for Social Development

UNRWA
full name: United Nations Relief and Works Agency
not to be confused with: Niggaz With Attitude (NWA), a rap band formed in Compton, California in 1987

UNU
full name: United Nations University
not to be confused with: a type of Fiat car

UNV
full name: United Nations Volunteers

UPU
full name: Universal Postal Union
not to be confused with: Apu, from the Simpsons

WHO
full name: World Health Organisation
not to be confused with: The Who, the band that included the maniac drummer Keith Moon

WIPO
full name: World Intellectual Property Organisation
not to be confused with: wino, a persistently drunk man

WMO
full name: World Meteorological Organisation
not to be confused with: Worldwide Missionary Outreach

WTO
full name: World Trade Organisation
not to be confused with: World Tourism Organisation

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